30 June 2014

Film of the Day #7: Van Helsing


Does anyone else have 3 hour naps, or is that just me? I was supposed to post this post about 4 hours ago. Whyyyyy am I so incapable of staying awake!? Also, I just started re-watching/catching up on True Blood, it really went properly batshit mental and kind of terrible! Productive use of my time as always.
Speaking of batshit mental and kind of terrible, today's film of the day is a gloriously bad treat. Like, so bad it's good. Well, not good, but it's certainly enjoyable! In the sense where it's massively fun to laugh at. Film of the Day is the awesomely bad Van Helsing!

Film of the Day! Hugh Jackman is so beautiful.

As I've mentioned before here, hate-watching films is one of my favourite past times. It's weird, I know. So when my boyf popped this bad boy on my automatic reaction was 'YAASSSS!'. Let's get into the film!
The film follows Van Helsing, a hunter of sorts, who fights the forces of evil. He is sent to protect/help the last of the Valerious family, who have vowed to kill Dracula and (for some reason) cannot enter Heaven until they have done so. Anywho, as bad luck would have it, there only remains one human member of the Valerious family, Anna, after a werewolf attack wounds the eldest brother. Dracula is trying to make some baby Dracula's (obviously) but after his betrayal and murder of Dr.Frankenstein and the loss of his Monster, he is unable get the spell/science right and they keep dying. Van Helsing and Anna must band together to keep Dracula from succeeding or finding Frankenstein's Monster, and find a way to destroy him. This is all further complicated by Van Helsing's amnesia and the fact that Dracula seems to know who he is and what he's done in the past. 

Guys, this is such a bad film. It is a fabulously camp old-school, B-movie and absolutely everything is over-the-top. Especially the acting, oh my days the acting is HILARIOUS. Dracula, played by Richard Roxburgh, is one of the most ridiculous villains I've seen in a film in a loooong time. It's amazing. Another issue is that the 'history' between Van Helsing and Dracula is baffling and there isn't even an attempt made to try and create a believable past. Or even a past at all. When there's a slight hint made that they may reveal the truth, they swerve past it with all the style and grace of a 10 car pile-up. Not to mention, the CGI is bloody awful, the storyline is shite,  and the 'chemistry' between Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale is not exactly sparkling (despite the fact they are both hideously attractive). And yet, for some reason, I love watching this film. I mean, it's almost offensively bad, but the acceptance and glorifying of the B-movie roots make it hard to dislike it. It just looks like they are having a blast, especially Dracula who is loving life. Also, it has the beautiful Hugh Jackman.

I'll leave it there tonight! I hope you enjoyed, if you've seen the film drop me a comment below or on any of my social media, I'd love to hear from you. It's definitely not a film everyone will like, but if you watch it in the OTT spirit intended, you may just find your new favourite film to Hate-Watch! Hope you're all well :). 


P.S. Seriously though, look at him.
28 June 2014

Film of the Day #6: Honey


I have been very distracted by the World Cup and Wimbledon, it is not helping my film-watching abilities one bit. Today's film is one that was on T.V. between my sporting events. Apologies for the lacklustre efforts! In my defence though, I do distinctly remember this film being a big 'thing' when I was a baby teenager. So there's that, at least. Today's film is the cheerfully bad Honey.

         Film of the Day! Remember when Jessica Alba was a thing?   
The film follows Honey Daniels (Jessica Alba) as she seeks to prove herself as a dancer and dreams of making a career of it. She's spotted one day by a music director, who inevitably ends up being a big creeper, and is put on her path to becoming a backup dancer and choreographer. She lives in a less than savoury area with all sorts of street violence lurking around the corner. Working in her Mum's community centre teaching dance, she tries to encourage kids off the street and into a dance studio. Trying to negotiate her friends, career, creeper boss, boyfriend, family and the kids, all sorts of trials and tribulations arise as she fights to achieve her dreams and open up her own studio. And there's a rousing dance number at the end to wrap it all up.

I remember when this film came out in 2003 and dance movies were becoming a big trend in cinema (see Step Up 1-34, Streetdance). Watching this with my friends, all I wanted to do was to be THE BEST DANCER EVERRRRR. Also, to learn how to do a backflip without murdering myself (achievement still not unlocked. sad face). Watching the film now, I can see why I could be swept along with it. Whilst the choreography scenes aren't quite as glorious as in the newer dance films, there's something so heartwarming about the last dance scene. To be fair, I might just be a sucker for tiny, adorable people popping and locking. The basic story following Honey try to succeed is fine, the approach is sickly sweet, but it's not terrible. It's when the genuine threat of street violence is introduced that the film gets a little stretched. One of the kids, Benny (played by Lil' Romeo. Or he was Lil' then) gets wrapped up in a gang and is caught dealing drugs. For a story that is supposed to be all about reaching for your dreams, this is a difficult point to put in there. With a little better treatment or a little more time to development it might've worked, but as it stands the basic premise is 'DANCE SAVES KID FROM DRUGS' and that's pretty much it. His dark storyline is pretty much swept aside just in time for the dance show at then end. So, yay for dance, I guess? It's not an offensively bad film, but it is sweet to the point of inducing diabetes at some points. Especially the end number and some of the song choices. Also, it reminded me of when Jessica Alba used to be bloody everywhere. That and she was so much better on T.V. Dark Angel forever, yo. I am really feeling my teen roots tonight haha.

Alright! I'll leave it there for tonight! There won't be a FOTD tomorrow because it's Sunday and that's my sleeping day ;). Until then, let me know if you've seen the film and what you think, you can hit me up on any of my social media or down below. And let me know, have you ever managed to learn one of the dance sequences!? I live in hope. Hope you're well!


P.S. Did you know there's a sequel!? It's very imaginatively called Honey 2, and I'm pretty sure it has like, nothing to do with this film. Maybe I'll give it a watch...
27 June 2014

Film of the Day #5: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang


After yesterday's terrible film, I figured it would be best for me to go to a classic that I know I like, so I picked Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. I love this film. So much. 
Film of the Day! Yay for RDJ!
I have spoken about this film before (at length) right here so you can check out a more in-depth look at the film as well! I am so good to you haha.
ONTO THE FILM! The film follows Harry Lockheart (Robert Downey Jr) a petty thief, who after a botched job, escapes from the police by auditioning for a movie. Sounds weird, is totally brilliant in the film. By some mad fluke, he manages to get the job and is told to shadow the fabulous Gay Perry (Val Kilmer) to learn how to be a Private Investigator. While at one of these Hollywood parties he runs into his childhood crush, Harmony (Michelle Monaghan) who is now an aspiring actress, fleeing her traumatic childhood. Unfortunately, her childhood and equally as traumatised sister has followed her to the city of lights. Seeking Harry and Perry's help, they become entangled in Hollywood's secrets and lies, whilst trying to figure out what happened to Harmony's sister. Nothing is what it seems, everybody is telling a story and fact and fiction have blurred lines.

Directed and written by Shane Black (the man behind Iron Man 3), this is a very funny film. It's action-packed, thrilling and there are twists and turns galore. The film is quite a damning look at Hollywood and the lies that run the industry and the superficiality of the business. The style of the film is reminiscent of the old-school noir films; not knowing who to trust, storybook story telling and even a gumshoe investigator! It has everything. The central cast is also brilliant. This was one of the first films Robert Downey Jr did before Iron Man and was what was considered to be the beginning of his Hollywood comeback, even getting him cast in his biggest role. Val Kilmer as Gay Perry is destined to go down as an iconic character, he is funny, rude and hella smart. I love him a little bit! And Michelle Monaghan is great as a female who can actually do something, an unusual trait in a Hollywood film. She is the perfect balance between a dreamer and someone scarred by their past. I don't think i could recommend this film more if I tried! 

Alright, I think I'll leave the rambling for today! I hope you enjoyed and I hope you watch the film. Let me know your thoughts if you do down below or on any of my social media on the side! Hope you're all well!

26 June 2014

Film of the Day #4: What to Expect When You're Expecting


Exciting news first! One of my best friends has invited me to join her on her blog Secrets of a Twenty Something, which is incredibly cool. I can't wait to start writing for the site and I hope you'll check out her blog. It's all about beauty, fashion, inspiration, and now, film! Have a look and you can check out my introduction to the site here

Onto the film! First of all, yes I know. After all my stellar choices (and they were STELLAR), today's film of the day is a bit of an odd one. If you haven't already read the title, today's FOTD is What to Expect When You're Expecting. I did say I'd be watching the good, the bad and the terrible! Basically, I couldn't pick a film, a problem that happens to me far more often than I can cope with! There's just sooo many I want to watch and if I pick just one I feel like the rest won't love me anymore! This is what I like to call a film bloggers problem, that or just a straight-up crazy person problem...SO, I was flicking through our (incredibly overloaded) Sky+ box and looking at all the shite I'd recorded when I spotted this bad boy. I figured I may as well give it a shot! Also, it has Anna Kendrick and I love her. I did not, however, love this film.

Film of the Day! It's terrible!
As I mentioned previously, I do love a bit of hate-watching (you can read all about it here). When I saw this bad boy on I figured I'd be getting to do one of my favourite things! And I did, because I hated nearly every character. The story is based on a factual pregnancy guide about the difficulties of, well, pregnancy. It follows a range characters in their different struggles with pregnancies and the strain on their relationships. I'm mostly just amazed they managed to turn a best-selling pregnancy guide into a fictional movie. Really shows Hollywood's dedication to making money from anything and everything! Whilst this potentially could have been a fun romantic comedy, there are just faarrrr too many characters crammed in there, most of whom I didn't give a shit about. In terms of actual character development, there really isn't very much, just a variety of one-note roles. Which is a shame, because this has quite the cast with Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick (girl-crush), Chris Rock and Jennifer Lopez all starring. Some of the stories are much better than the others, especially those of Jennifer Lopez and Anna Kendrick, which have some real moments of poignancy. If those stories had been given a little more room to develop, perhaps this would've been a better film. As it stands, it's just a bunch of ridiculously attractive people pretending to be knocked up.

Alright, I'm gonna leave it there for today, I hope you've enjoyed. If you've seen the film, let me know your thoughts down below or on any of my social media, which can be found on the sidebar. I hope you're all well and I'll speak to you tomorrow!

25 June 2014

Film of the Day #3: The Guard


I felt like catching up with my roots, so today's FOTD is from my (sorta) neck of the woods. Also, I do love a bit of homegrown cinema and The Guard is an underrated gem that I will never tire of watching! 

Film of the Day! I love Brendan Gleeson.
The Guard follows the shenanigans (there is no other word for them) of hilariously un-PC Sergeant Gerry Boyle (Gleeson). He is exactly the type of chap who says everything that comes into his head, regardless of how it might make you feel. In other words, in real life you'd avoid him like the plague, on film he is BRILLIANT. As he carries on with his decidedly illegal exploits (worst. policeman. ever), he's investigating an apparent serial killer with his new partner whilst the FBI arrive to investigate four Irish drug traffickers. It's all going on! Not that this bothers Gerry, who is only really concerned about prostitutes and his mother, the latter of which is a very sweet relationship, the former, not so much. Gerry soon realises that his murder victim is linked to the drug traffickers and that's when everything starts going wrong. After a tragic event, Gerry soon gets personally involved with trying to bring down the drug ring. Along with Wendell the FBI agent (played by Don Cheadle), he does everything in his power, and some things that shouldn't be, to get his form of justice. And he is ridiculously rude to everyone on the way. Except his Mother. And the prostitutes...

Honestly, this film makes me laugh everytime. It has such a great cast with Brendan Gleeson, Mark Strong and Don Cheadle all on top form. Gleeson is particularly brilliant. He should be utterly detestable, and yet for some reason, I kind of love him. The use of the Irish culture is also incredibly well done. The drunk, racist Irish stereotype is rolled out, but is done so boldly, it's hard not to laugh because it's quite clear they are making fun of everyone. Also, the John Michael McDonagh (the writer and director) is part Irish, and it's acceptable for the Irish to make fun of themselves! Don Cheadle is  great as the American straight-man who is utterly lost in the country that automatically assumed that all drug dealers were black (yes, that really happens). The philosophical debate about Nietzsche between the drug traffickers is also a high point! (Ha! HIGH point! DRUG dealers! I am hilarious.)

This film is not one to be watching with the parents, or on a first/third/tenth date. It does feature A LOT of swearing and a decent amount of a half naked Brendan Gleeson rolling around with prostitutes, but it is definitely worth a watch! 

That's it for today, I hope you enjoyed and I hope you found a new film to watch. If you do, let me know your thoughts down below or hit me up on any of my social media on the side and I will talk to you tomorrow!

24 June 2014

Film of The Day #2: Heathers


Today's FOTD (I really cannot be arsed writing Film of The Day 700 times) is the magnificent Heathers. It's really brilliant; supremely dark and very funny. 

Film of The Day! How I wanted to be Winona...
The film follows Veronica (Winona Ryder) as she tries to survive high school as a member of the Heathers, the disturbingly popular group of girls all called, weirdly enough, Heather. She meets the ridiculously dreamy and mysterious Jason Dean (Christian Slater) who turns out to be not so much mysterious, rather a straight up crazy person. Soon she quickly discovers, surviving high school can be murder. 
Even I cringe a little bit at that last line, I'm sorry. I'm not immune to the dramatic finishing line! Anyway, it's all very good! The teenagers are delightfully pretentious and fabulously obtuse in equal proportions. Whilst thinking they are so much wiser than the people they look down on, they are making terrible life choices. It's a great meditation on what it's like to be a teenager. I know I thought I was sooooo clever, but a read back on my journals tells me I was not. I was very, very not clever. 

There is a fascinating theme running throughout the film about the issue of peer pressure and popularity. Here we see beautiful people do stupid things, yet are idolised and celebrated, but when a character who is genuinely suffering does the same, she is mocked for trying to be 'popular'. There is a damning view on the glamorisation of beauty and the cruelty it can mask and the fact that beauty seems to excuse any mistreatment. Honestly, it's just a film I could talk about for hours. Also, it is ENDLESSLY quotable (just not in polite company). The film, released in 1988, is a big cult favourite and seem to be an antidote of sorts to the sickly sweet (yet totally addictive) high school romances that sprung up in the 80's. It is wickedly funny and Christian Slater (when he's not being totally mental) is disgustingly attractive. Just thought I'd throw that last bit in there... And you really should watch it!

Okay, that's me done for today! I hope you enjoyed and I hope you watch the film and if you do, let me know what you think. Drop me any and all suggestions down below or on my Facebook or Twitter, I will happily watch anything! Hope you're all fabulous :)


P.S. Look at him though. LOOK!

23 June 2014

Film of The Day #1: Serenity


I am a very excited person right now! Today is the start of a new feature on my blog in an attempt to actually make me keep some sort of routine. HOW EXCITING! So, every day (circumstances all being well), I will be watching a film and posting a mini-review. It's going to be AWESOME. Without further rambling, let's get into it!

Today's film is an old (not that old) favourite of mine. I had a stressy day at work dealing with lots of requests that I had no idea how to answer, so when I came home all I wanted to do was 1) sleep and 2) sleep. Yet I persevered! So dedicated. I didn't want to watch anything heavy hitting and I wanted to watch something I knew I liked so I picked Serenity, because you can't go wrong with Nathan Fillion. Or Joss Whedon. 

Film of The Day!
It's a highly underrated treasure, based on the also highly underrated and sadly cancelled television show, Firefly. It was great. Written and directed by Joss Whedon it has all of his signature flairs; snappy writing, interesting characters and quirky hilarity coming out the ying yang (I'm sorry, I'll never say that again). Following the overpopulation on Earth, society is moved into space and many planets and moons are colonised by the Alliance, the new government. This move causes problems with the less powerful planets and leads to a war between the Alliance and the Colonies, and the Alliance victory leaves those in the Colonies without a place in society. The film follows a crew captained by Mal (the always awesome Nathan Fillion) who fought for the colonies and is left disheartened by the loss of the war and his friends. They make their living through petty theft, but on the arrival of the mysterious River (Summer Glau) and her brother Simon (Sean Maher) things quickly become more complicated. They have to defend themselves against the Alliance and the relentless Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and the terrifying Reavers, cannibal scavengers who destroy anything that moves.

The long and short of it is, this is a cracking film. The action is fast-paced and engrossing, there's tension, there are twists, turns, reveals and betrayals. The writing is as quick as the action and the story zips along and before you know it, BAM, you're in love with Mal! Whilst it might have more of an emotional impact if you've seen the show, I don't think it'll make that much of a difference. Joss Whedon (the man who brought us the legendary Buffy the Vampire Slayer) has such a knack for dialogue that you'll feel like you know the characters already.

So there we go! First Film of The Day done! I hope you enjoyed this, and if you've seen the film, let me know your thoughts! Do you agree, disagree? And more importantly, do you have any suggestions for me!? And don't forget, if you want to keep up with when I update my blog, you can follow by email, like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter and Instagram, all my links are on the side. Social media everywhere!

Hope you're all well, talk to you tomorrow! YAY FOR ROUTINE!

01 June 2014

Things I Love: Hate-Watching Films


You know when a film comes on and you can feel that you are going to hate nearly everything about it, but you can't quite bring yourself to turn it off? God, I love that. I spend approximately 35% of my film-watching time, watching films that I know I am going to loathe. I don't know why but it just makes me so happy! I know how insane that sounds.

I can nearly pinpoint the exact moment I realised I loved watching terrible films. I was about 11 and Coyote Ugly came out in the cinema.
The worst.
I loathed that film, like properly hated it. And I wouldn't have had a problem with that if any of my friends felt that same, but noooo they LOVED that film. They loved it so fricking much. They swooned over Adam Garcia, they related with Piper Perabo's (very annoying) character, they cried when things took a turn for the worse and they cheered when she (inevitably) got off her ass and sang the damn song. And then we all sang that shitting LeAnn Rimes song. I hate that song. 

When I was 11 I couldn't quite verbalise just what it was I disliked about it so much, I mean, it had an attractive man; what more could I want!? As I got older I realised what was wrong (no likeable characters, shit storyline, too much LeAnn Rimes) but at that age it was just "I just don't like it!". Not that this mattered, for hating that film I have now seen it 13 times (side note; did anybody else know there's like an 'X-Rated' version!? That made for a real shock when we watched it at a sleepover). So, I developed a mechanism that I suggest everyone adopts in times of film desperation--it makes the whole thing easier. Basically, now when I see a film that is painful to watch, I am that asshole in the back snickering at every terrible, inexplicable character decision and pointing out the flaws in pretty much everything. I know, I hate myself too. Generally, I like to hate-watch films by myself because I like having friends and family that can tolerate me, so it's pretty much just me shouting at a screen. I'd stop, but it's just SO MUCH FUN. 

I have 'favourite' films to hate-watch (yes, really) and when I want to get angry at the world, I like to pop these on and rage at the injustice;

1) Twilight (allllll of them)
I already have a blog post about just why I hate this entire phenomena so much here. But despite that hate, I love popping this on just to be baffled at what it is to be a teenager in a modern age. I'm only 25, but this whole thing makes me feel about 60. 

2) A Cinderella Story

So, back in the day I was OBSESSED with Chad Michael Murray (what even happened to him?) when he was on the greatness that was One Tree Hill (currently re-watching-AMAZING). When this film came out, it was a no-brainer. I was seeing this and I was going to love it. Needless to say, I didn't. Hilary Duff seems very nice, but this film is not the pinnacle of acting ability. It is so bad. Like, I physically cringe at some of the lines. And yet, when my sister is watching the DVD, I can't leave the room. PROBLEMS.

3) Wild Child
Yeah, generally it's teen rom-coms that I love/hate. Starring Emma Roberts, this is the ridiculous story of a spoilt American girl shipped off to boarding school in England (identified here as the place of no fun and posh accents) who manages to learn life lessons AND get a hot boyfriend, SCORE! It's amazingly bad, and yet when it's popped on TV (my sister has a terrible DVD collection) I have to stay and watch. 

4) Transformers (allllll of them). In fact, Michael Bay films in general.
The first one wasn't terrible, the rest were SHOCKINGLY bad. Third one didn't even have Megan Fox to make it fun to watch! Michael Bay really does just think hot girls are replaceable action figures. These films make me a little angry actually... Armageddon is also shockingly shite. My older sister said I had no heart if I didn't cry at it, I was too busy being baffled about all the stuff that happened. How did this make sense to anyone!?

5) Anything based on a Nicholas Sparks book
ERGHHHHHHH. And again, BLUURRRGHHH. But also, I love hating these. Never watch Dear John with me. I really hate that film. Amanda Seyfried's character= THE WORST.

So there we go! Those are some of my 'favourite' hate-watch films. Don't ask me why so many are teen rom-coms, I couldn't tell you. I have a whole thing for terrible horror--or more accurately 'horror'--films that I'll go into another time. If you have any films you like to watch to hate, leave me a suggestion because I would love to watch them. I know I'm not the only one that hate-watches films, right!? Apologies to anyone who likes any of the films I've shamed here! If you do like them, drop me a comment and I'll try have a more open mind, or if you're like me and hate them, drop me a comment and we can hate them together!

Byeeeeeeeee :)

Motherhood, films, beauty, and life



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