14 November 2014

Netflix: The Good, The Bad and The Terrible. #1

Hi!

I have mentioned before I have a teeny tiny addiction to Netflix. Like, miniscule. Or, okay, a huge massive addiction. Worryingly so. Currently I am happily working my way through pretty much everything that doesn't make me want to throw up. And a few that do. So welcome to a new feature on the blog! (I have to make use of the many, many, many films that I have now seen.) I am going to pop a review up of some of the gems (ha!) that I've seen.

Today's 'gem' is LOL, and yes, that is the actual name. And I'll not lie, this film is bad. Like, really bad. What it should really be called is Why Miley Cyrus Should Stick To Twerking/Singing. And I'm not normally one to advocate anyone twerking, especially if it's Miley. 
The film is a remake of the French film of the same name and follows a teenage girl called Lola, whose nickname is 'Lol'. Which is just ridiculous because she has a face on her like a slapped arse THE ENTIRE FILM. Anyway, the film follows 'Lol' and her wild and wacky adventures as she tangles with boys and her mum. After apparently being MADLY in love with a boy, she is devastated when he tells her (in the most unintentionally hilarious scene I've seen in a while) that he has cheated. But not to worry! She's always had an uncomfortably close relationship to his bff who's also her bff so she just switches onto him instead. Which takes all of 5 minutes. Character development? Plot Development? Psshhh, who needs that when we have attractive teenagers talking about sex! While 'Lol' is dealing with these very important issues, her Mum is being 'hip' and 'cool' whilst also telling her daughter not to do everything that she herself is doing. This movie is baffling, hilarious and infuriating. And bad. Really, really bad. I might add it to my Hate-Watch list, the highest honour I can give to a terrible film. Miley will be so happy.

The main problem is obvious from the beginning of the film. Nobody can act. Literally everybody, with maybe the exception of the blonde bff whose name I can't remember (not a great sign), has forgotten how to act. Miley might have a great singing voice but her facial expressions are either 'This is as happy as I get' or 'Engage: Pout Mode'. Both of which get used excessively in this film. Miley isn't the only culprit though. Demi Moore, who's been doing the acting thing for a while, looks like she's completely forgotten how to move her face. 

No amount of Oscar-worthy acting could save the characters (or story) though. Everyone is very annoying and for a film trying to tell me that these lads were the bestest friends the world has ever seen, nobody seemed to really like each other. And Miley's 2nd bff just disappeared after about 2 minutes screentime. Everyone acts totally inexplicably and I'm not entirely sure why Miley was so in love with the first boyfriend, because he is a raging toolbag. And really, 'Lol' is far too annoying to be around for longer than 5 minutes. Basically, I hated pretty much everyone in this film. Especially 'Lol', who keeps the weirdest shit in her diary, which she hides under her bed wrapped up in her Mum's cardigan and then is confused when her Mum finds it. No teenager is that stupid. And I sincerely hope no teenager is sticking condom wrappers in their diary. Because that's really weird. 

This is a very confusing film to aim at teenagers. It is all about sex, drugs and boys--topics that are all increasingly relevant in a modern society, but pretty much the main message seems to be 'look! Miley's smoking weed and doing sex! Isn't she lovable and cool?! And Demi Moore has a joint too! We're so edgy'.  I'm not a prude by any stretch, but the film doesn't actually seem to have much of a social commentary other than...well, I don't actually know. One of the characters loses her virginity to another who is deemed 'uncool' therefore she is to be ashamed. But don't worry about it, she only did it as a practice run! And to gloss over this less than savoury note, she ends up going out with him and it is never mentioned again. If you're going to aim a film about sex at teenagers, at least give them something more to take away other than 'Douglas Booth is a babe' or 'Miley does drugs and has sex, she's my idol'. 

On the plus side, Miley does not once do that weird tongue thing she keeps doing. Plus 10 points for Miley!


Alright! I'll leave it there for tonight, I hope you enjoyed reading my rant about why Miley should staahhpppp it. If you want to keep up with any other ramblings, you can find me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, links are all on the sidebar, I'd love to see you there! I hope you're all well and I will talk to you soon :).

Becca x
06 November 2014

Writer's Block Sucks Balls.

Hey!

I know, the title is eloquent and beautiful, please, try to hold back the tears at my elegance. It's a daily battle for me, so I feel your pain. 

So, yeah, writer's block sucks balls, that's about the entire basis of this bloggy blog post. SUCH INSPIRING. MUCH WISENESS. I think I may be delirious...

If you read my last post (which you can catch up on here, if you are that way inclined) you'll know I've had a pretty shitty time of it lately. And by shitty I do mean mind-blowingly awful. But I had every intention of just trying to get back into the swing of things, get back to finally writing again, back into trying to get somewhere. And every part of me was ready, except for the part that actually helps me come up with some sort of coherent anything. Basically, my brain has been listening to Russell Brand and is determined to stage a revolution against me and productivity. I've tried talking to it, but it just won't listen to reason, the little shit. 

Here's a list of the things I have done whilst trying to get over my Writer's Block/ things I have done whilst procrastinating like a motherflucker;

1) Watch everything on Netflix.
Whilst trying to do research for the Halloween piece I was going to write (hope you had a good one) I was steadily working my way through the good, the bad and the ugly on Netflix. It was a dirty job, but someone had to do it. You are welcome for my sacrifice. Only problem was, when it came to actually writing about the damn films I had no words. I typed the same thing over and over and it made no sense and then I just lost any words. I did continue to watch the films though, I am very dedicated. Maybe I'll do some reviews on the Netflix good, bad and ugly. Because I have seen a lot of ugly. 

2) No, seriously, I am watching everything on Netflix.
It is both a curse and a gift. And it is painfully addictive. And I should be watching it now.

3) Creep over attractive men on Suits.
Has anyone else watched this show?! It is AMAZING. And everyone dresses like a bloody model. And they all look like models. Holy crap. I just don't understand how everyone is that attractive. Shout out to Louis Litt (the only non-model type) for being my favourite character of life. My boyfriend is deeply in love with him. 

Look at them!
4) Rearrange all the furniture in the house.
I got a desk to inspire/ force me to do some damn writing and what it led to was me moving all the furniture I could and being unable to sit down until my study looked like Pinterest threw up on it. I have so many candles burning, I'm causing a small hole in the ozone layer, but it's all so Tumblr I could cry tears of happiness. 
So Tumblr. So Pinterest. So pretty. And you bet your ass I Instagrammed that shit!

5) Obsessively clean the flat.
I'm already a bit of nightmare on this front. I can't let a plate or rubbish sit for longer than 10 minutes without having to get up and put it away, whilst complaining loudly. I think such tidiness is admirable, according to the boy it is 'obsessive and annoying and can you please stop shouting at me?!'. Honestly. 

6) Watch 4,000,000 YouTube videos.
I am already borderline obsessed (totally not borderline, totally obsessed) with YouTube, but when I'm meant to be doing anything else it becomes like crack to me. I may not have written anything BUT I can do an excellent smokey eye makeup, I've seen a baby monkey ride a pig AND I've seen the trailers for all the films coming out in the foreseeable future. And also trailers for films that were released over the past 10 years. And the Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer about 2,000,000 times. It is bloody beautiful!


7) Stare at the ceiling moodily whilst listening to meaningful songs on Spotify.
I disgust myself.

8) Dance like a total asshole around the flat before realising that I live on the bottom floor and people can see me.
Everyone's just jealous of my mad skillz and flawless Kanye rapping. 

9) Sleep. A LOT.
My bed just loves me and I love it and DON'T JUDGE ME.

10) Did I mention Netflix?
Netflix is life.

I've just accepted that I cannot force my brain to write sentences that don't make me cry tears of pain, so I've just given the little bastard time to work it's shit out. And I think it's working. For the first time in a while, I've been able to write something and finish it. I mean, it's just me rambling on about writer's block, but it's something! And if anything, the massive amounts of Netflix and the YouTube trailer watching have inspired me a bit. Largely I'm thinking, if half that shit can get made then I'm bound to strike it lucky at some point. Here's to positive thinking! So yeah, I did just ramble on about writer's block, but it was therapeutic, so thanks for listening/reading. 

I'll leave it there tonight and I WILL (I hope you heard how forcefully I typed that) talk to you soon! This will happen! In the meantime, you can find me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, links all over in the sidebar, I would love to see you there. And if you have any tips to help stop writer's block sucking so many balls, I would be eternally grateful. I hope you're all well, and I'll talk to you soon (yes I will!).

Byeeeeeeeee!

Becca x

Motherhood, films, beauty, and life

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