As I got older, my resolutions began to reflect more of what I thought about myself and my self-worth. They turned from things like 'skydiving' (I mean, honestly 10 year old me, why!?), to things like 'get a boyfriend', 'lose weight', 'be less of a loser'. My resolutions turned into ways I could change myself, mould myself into the people I so desperately wanted to be like, who I so desperately wanted to like me. Needless to say, resolutions started with that mentality are doomed to fail from the start, how can you succeed in 'bettering' yourself when you don't even believe you can? If you think you're shit, you'll only treat yourself as such. Again, I'd set myself up for disaster before it had even began, and it made it impossible to pull myself out of my negative way of thinking. I'd spend the year in this constant cycle of knowing I was heading for failure in my mind, but doing nothing about it because I didn't know what to do. It took me a very long time to pull myself out of this repetitive, useless cycle, but this year it appears I've turned a corner. It was a Christmas miracle!
This year my Resolutions aren't anything big or fancy, I still have high aims for the year because I am the eternal dreamer, but to me they are achievable, and that's all they need to be. Without further rambling (of course there'll be further rambling) here's my resolutions;
1) Get my Passport
I've been putting this off forever because it seems too grown up and I am apparently the laziest of all the shits, but I AM going to do this.
2) Go Travelling
This links nicely with point one, obviously. I already have a bucket list, god help my bank account.
3) Write more
Last year I made big claims about 2016 being 'the year of the blog', turns out 2016 was actually the year of the mental breakdown, so we'll just pretend that didn't happen. I'm not necessarily saying I'll be a top blogger, I mean, I am still me, and I am still Queen of the Procrastinators, but I am saying I'll try better. I would like to possibly finish any one of the three writing projects I have been working on for forever.
4) Get Organised
I think this also links well with point three, I'm doing a very good job linking things together. To help me with my whole 'getting organised' thing, I have started a Bullet Journal, which looked so pretty in the youtube videos and tumblr pictures I looked at, but good grief it is time-consuming. Like, I enjoy it, but in my determination to make it look Pinterest-tastic, it apparently takes me 34 years to do anything.This will definitely be a work in progress because I over-complicate things, but I'm oddly excited about it, which must mean I am officially middle aged.
5) Be happy and healthy
This is a constant wish, rather than just a resolution. This is something I always overlooked when I was younger, even up to last year. I'd write down all my aspirations and hopes, but I'd forget the most important one. There's no point in having all these dreams if I'm miserable, so this year, I'm taking better care of my mental health and physical health. I'm not aiming to all of a sudden be cured of depression, and I'm certainly not aiming to 'be skinny', I'm just aiming to handle it. All I want is to be happy, healthy and confident in myself. I say 'all I want', when I'm aware that's actually quite a lot to ask of myself, but I think it's important that I ask it of myself. To me, it's important that I take stock in how I feel in myself, rather than focusing on everyone else around me. I spend a lot of time worrying about how other people view me, and whether other people like me, when I should've really been worrying about my own view of myself. 2016 was not a great year for my mental health, I wasn't in a particularly good place in my mind, but I am determined for 2017 to be better.
Okay, that's me! Resolutions that would make any grown up proud! I know it's late, but I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas surrounded by the people you love, and I hope you've made resolutions that make you feel good about yourself, even if that includes skydiving, you mentalist.
You can find all my links on the side, I am forever on Instagram, much to the bane of everyone I know. I hope you're all well, and I'll chat to you soon.
Be happy, and be kind.
Becca xo