14 November 2014

Netflix: The Good, The Bad and The Terrible. #1


I have mentioned before I have a teeny tiny addiction to Netflix. Like, miniscule. Or, okay, a huge massive addiction. Worryingly so. Currently I am happily working my way through pretty much everything that doesn't make me want to throw up. And a few that do. So welcome to a new feature on the blog! (I have to make use of the many, many, many films that I have now seen.) I am going to pop a review up of some of the gems (ha!) that I've seen.

Today's 'gem' is LOL, and yes, that is the actual name. And I'll not lie, this film is bad. Like, really bad. What it should really be called is Why Miley Cyrus Should Stick To Twerking/Singing. And I'm not normally one to advocate anyone twerking, especially if it's Miley. 
The film is a remake of the French film of the same name and follows a teenage girl called Lola, whose nickname is 'Lol'. Which is just ridiculous because she has a face on her like a slapped arse THE ENTIRE FILM. Anyway, the film follows 'Lol' and her wild and wacky adventures as she tangles with boys and her mum. After apparently being MADLY in love with a boy, she is devastated when he tells her (in the most unintentionally hilarious scene I've seen in a while) that he has cheated. But not to worry! She's always had an uncomfortably close relationship to his bff who's also her bff so she just switches onto him instead. Which takes all of 5 minutes. Character development? Plot Development? Psshhh, who needs that when we have attractive teenagers talking about sex! While 'Lol' is dealing with these very important issues, her Mum is being 'hip' and 'cool' whilst also telling her daughter not to do everything that she herself is doing. This movie is baffling, hilarious and infuriating. And bad. Really, really bad. I might add it to my Hate-Watch list, the highest honour I can give to a terrible film. Miley will be so happy.

The main problem is obvious from the beginning of the film. Nobody can act. Literally everybody, with maybe the exception of the blonde bff whose name I can't remember (not a great sign), has forgotten how to act. Miley might have a great singing voice but her facial expressions are either 'This is as happy as I get' or 'Engage: Pout Mode'. Both of which get used excessively in this film. Miley isn't the only culprit though. Demi Moore, who's been doing the acting thing for a while, looks like she's completely forgotten how to move her face. 

No amount of Oscar-worthy acting could save the characters (or story) though. Everyone is very annoying and for a film trying to tell me that these lads were the bestest friends the world has ever seen, nobody seemed to really like each other. And Miley's 2nd bff just disappeared after about 2 minutes screentime. Everyone acts totally inexplicably and I'm not entirely sure why Miley was so in love with the first boyfriend, because he is a raging toolbag. And really, 'Lol' is far too annoying to be around for longer than 5 minutes. Basically, I hated pretty much everyone in this film. Especially 'Lol', who keeps the weirdest shit in her diary, which she hides under her bed wrapped up in her Mum's cardigan and then is confused when her Mum finds it. No teenager is that stupid. And I sincerely hope no teenager is sticking condom wrappers in their diary. Because that's really weird. 

This is a very confusing film to aim at teenagers. It is all about sex, drugs and boys--topics that are all increasingly relevant in a modern society, but pretty much the main message seems to be 'look! Miley's smoking weed and doing sex! Isn't she lovable and cool?! And Demi Moore has a joint too! We're so edgy'.  I'm not a prude by any stretch, but the film doesn't actually seem to have much of a social commentary other than...well, I don't actually know. One of the characters loses her virginity to another who is deemed 'uncool' therefore she is to be ashamed. But don't worry about it, she only did it as a practice run! And to gloss over this less than savoury note, she ends up going out with him and it is never mentioned again. If you're going to aim a film about sex at teenagers, at least give them something more to take away other than 'Douglas Booth is a babe' or 'Miley does drugs and has sex, she's my idol'. 

On the plus side, Miley does not once do that weird tongue thing she keeps doing. Plus 10 points for Miley!

Alright! I'll leave it there for tonight, I hope you enjoyed reading my rant about why Miley should staahhpppp it. If you want to keep up with any other ramblings, you can find me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, links are all on the sidebar, I'd love to see you there! I hope you're all well and I will talk to you soon :).

Becca x
06 November 2014

Writer's Block Sucks Balls.


I know, the title is eloquent and beautiful, please, try to hold back the tears at my elegance. It's a daily battle for me, so I feel your pain. 

So, yeah, writer's block sucks balls, that's about the entire basis of this bloggy blog post. SUCH INSPIRING. MUCH WISENESS. I think I may be delirious...

If you read my last post (which you can catch up on here, if you are that way inclined) you'll know I've had a pretty shitty time of it lately. And by shitty I do mean mind-blowingly awful. But I had every intention of just trying to get back into the swing of things, get back to finally writing again, back into trying to get somewhere. And every part of me was ready, except for the part that actually helps me come up with some sort of coherent anything. Basically, my brain has been listening to Russell Brand and is determined to stage a revolution against me and productivity. I've tried talking to it, but it just won't listen to reason, the little shit. 

Here's a list of the things I have done whilst trying to get over my Writer's Block/ things I have done whilst procrastinating like a motherflucker;

1) Watch everything on Netflix.
Whilst trying to do research for the Halloween piece I was going to write (hope you had a good one) I was steadily working my way through the good, the bad and the ugly on Netflix. It was a dirty job, but someone had to do it. You are welcome for my sacrifice. Only problem was, when it came to actually writing about the damn films I had no words. I typed the same thing over and over and it made no sense and then I just lost any words. I did continue to watch the films though, I am very dedicated. Maybe I'll do some reviews on the Netflix good, bad and ugly. Because I have seen a lot of ugly. 

2) No, seriously, I am watching everything on Netflix.
It is both a curse and a gift. And it is painfully addictive. And I should be watching it now.

3) Creep over attractive men on Suits.
Has anyone else watched this show?! It is AMAZING. And everyone dresses like a bloody model. And they all look like models. Holy crap. I just don't understand how everyone is that attractive. Shout out to Louis Litt (the only non-model type) for being my favourite character of life. My boyfriend is deeply in love with him. 

Look at them!
4) Rearrange all the furniture in the house.
I got a desk to inspire/ force me to do some damn writing and what it led to was me moving all the furniture I could and being unable to sit down until my study looked like Pinterest threw up on it. I have so many candles burning, I'm causing a small hole in the ozone layer, but it's all so Tumblr I could cry tears of happiness. 
So Tumblr. So Pinterest. So pretty. And you bet your ass I Instagrammed that shit!

5) Obsessively clean the flat.
I'm already a bit of nightmare on this front. I can't let a plate or rubbish sit for longer than 10 minutes without having to get up and put it away, whilst complaining loudly. I think such tidiness is admirable, according to the boy it is 'obsessive and annoying and can you please stop shouting at me?!'. Honestly. 

6) Watch 4,000,000 YouTube videos.
I am already borderline obsessed (totally not borderline, totally obsessed) with YouTube, but when I'm meant to be doing anything else it becomes like crack to me. I may not have written anything BUT I can do an excellent smokey eye makeup, I've seen a baby monkey ride a pig AND I've seen the trailers for all the films coming out in the foreseeable future. And also trailers for films that were released over the past 10 years. And the Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer about 2,000,000 times. It is bloody beautiful!

7) Stare at the ceiling moodily whilst listening to meaningful songs on Spotify.
I disgust myself.

8) Dance like a total asshole around the flat before realising that I live on the bottom floor and people can see me.
Everyone's just jealous of my mad skillz and flawless Kanye rapping. 

9) Sleep. A LOT.
My bed just loves me and I love it and DON'T JUDGE ME.

10) Did I mention Netflix?
Netflix is life.

I've just accepted that I cannot force my brain to write sentences that don't make me cry tears of pain, so I've just given the little bastard time to work it's shit out. And I think it's working. For the first time in a while, I've been able to write something and finish it. I mean, it's just me rambling on about writer's block, but it's something! And if anything, the massive amounts of Netflix and the YouTube trailer watching have inspired me a bit. Largely I'm thinking, if half that shit can get made then I'm bound to strike it lucky at some point. Here's to positive thinking! So yeah, I did just ramble on about writer's block, but it was therapeutic, so thanks for listening/reading. 

I'll leave it there tonight and I WILL (I hope you heard how forcefully I typed that) talk to you soon! This will happen! In the meantime, you can find me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, links all over in the sidebar, I would love to see you there. And if you have any tips to help stop writer's block sucking so many balls, I would be eternally grateful. I hope you're all well, and I'll talk to you soon (yes I will!).


Becca x
13 October 2014

Are You Okay?

I'd really hoped I'd not have to write a post like this for at least another 50-100 years. I am aware that is unrealistic, but a girl can dream.  

It's been a while, but, yet again, I have a reason. I am an unending supply of shitty excuses that I wish I didn't have. I couldn't just go back to writing about films without at least addressing what is one of the most devastating events of my entire life, because that would just be fucking weird. 

I've been going out with my beautiful boy for nearly 10 years. He is my family and accordingly, his family became family too. They are a bunch of wonderful, random, funny human beings and I am very lucky to be able to count myself as part of the madness. 

On 7th September we got a call to say that one of his sisters; one of the brightest, kindest and best people I've ever known, who I was lucky enough to consider a sister too, had taken her own life. There is no way you can even begin to prepare yourself for someone telling you news like that. Tragedy has struck this wonderful family before in 2008, when my boy lost his twin in a car accident. In a way, I'd sort of foolishly convinced myself that nothing else really bad could happen. We'd already been through something so awful, surely nothing else could happen? I was horribly and unbelievably wrong. 
With a car accident, it's something awful and devastating, but at least it's in some way understandable, I guess. Suicide is something you can never in a million years prepare yourself for. Losing someone like this feels like a physical wrench, someone being torn from you and there is fuck all you can do about it. It is such a final act, that leaves nothing but questions, hurt and anger. 

I still have a very hard time believing it really happened, that she is really gone because the notion just seems so ridiculous. She was one of the loudest, bubbliest people I've ever known. You could hear her laugh and her voice from a mile a way, and I'm tempted to say that literally because girlfriend was LOUD. And that was one of the things I loved about her, there was no being discreet, everything was upfront and in your face. Yet it's this irony that makes the whole thing so hard to understand. This wonderful woman would tell you everything, regardless of whether you wanted to hear it or not. The amount of awkward conversations we had, her brother cringing away in the corner trying to cover his ears so he didn't hear all the details, is both hilarious and appalling. But when it came to telling us the things that mattered, she couldn't, words failed her. She constructed this almost perfect image. She had 3 wonderful kids, she'd lost loads of weight, she'd got a new house, she was going out and having fun, she was going to New York, she posted endless inspiration quotes on Facebook, and yet inside, that image couldn't have been further from the truth. And it causes me an actual physical pain that she went to that much effort to construct a picture of perfection, rather than being able to say 'look, I need help'. The last conversation we had, she told me how happy she was, and remembering that makes me so confused, angry and hurt. And sad. Sometimes I feel such grief that it feels like I can't breathe. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. It hasn't quite hit me as real yet. I feel like we're all free-falling and just waiting for the inevitable crash, when we'll realise that she's actually gone.

Losing someone like this hits me a little closer to home, because I know the thought pattern that goes along with depression. We had spoken about how she had struggled in the past, but she kept saying that it was getting better, and I guess that it's that part that I'm struggling with. I am so angry at her, and it hurts to say that, but I am so fucking pissed off. And it's not rational, I know, because I can understand what she must've been thinking, but on a selfish note, she knew she could've talked to any of us.  I'll indulge myself in my anger for a while; I'll curse at her, I'll rant at her and then all of a sudden that self-indulgent anger is cut short because I'll remember the reality. Then, just like that, the grief will smack me in the chest, face, stomach, with all the grace of a tonne of bricks. And it hurts everywhere. 

This feeling of waiting for the reality to hit is an uncomfortable one. You carry on with everyday life, you laugh and joke like it's all okay. And then you remember. Every time I laugh, it feels like it's coming from someone else. I feel like I'm looking at myself from the outside and I hear this stupid fake laugh and I hate myself a little. And yet, if I'm left alone she is the first place my head goes to and it hurts. I am a mass of contradictions. I want to be alone, but at the same time I am so scared of being left to my thoughts. 

I don't have the words to fully say how this hurts and I don't think I'll ever be able to understand what has happened. All I know, is that we lost part of our family and it has destroyed us a little. All we have are questions, shock, anger and grief, and to be left with that and nothing else is an insult to how fabulous Kellie was. 

If you are struggling at all, in any way, please, please tell someone. I am literally begging you. Save your loved ones this grief. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty for wanting to do it, I understand the temptation when your head tries to convince you, but it's not worth it. You can be helped, you can be saved, you just need to give someone the chance. 

We lost a beautiful, wonderful, funny woman. The kind of person who laughed first, who talked loudest, who'd speak to anyone, who made you feel welcome and loved, who put her family above all, who loved her children fiercely, who was an awesome friend, who was loyal and remarkable. She deserves a legacy so much bigger than someone who lost a battle to depression. She deserved so much better. 

I'll link some helpline numbers and information here and here. Even if you just want to talk to me, you can find my information on the side or in the 'Contact' section. There's no judgement, only understanding. 

I hope you're all well, and if you're not, I hope you talk to someone. Ask yourself everyday, 'Am I Okay?' and if the answer is ever 'No', tell someone. You are too important to not give yourself a chance.

I want to try and get back into writing, try and get back in the rhythm of life, otherwise I'll feel forever stuck in this little snapshot of grief and horror, and I can't cope with that. So hopefully, I'll chat to you all soon. Be safe and be well.


23 August 2014

Writing about the Hard Stuff: Mental Illness Pt.2

Hello beautiful people!

You know when you have so much to say, so much to explain, that you have no fricking clue where to start? Yeah, that's happening right now.

It's funny, I have this ridiculous compulsion to splurge all the feels but there are so many of them I may as well just smash my head against the keyboard repeatedly. It's always the important topics that are the most impossible to write about. Typical. As a side note, I feel I should just say; Mum, if you're reading this there WILL be swearing! I have done a disclaimer so now you can't tell me off :).

I guess the best thing to do is to start from the beginning (such an inventive idea, I know) so I'll link my first post about Mental Illness right here. If you want to be able to follow along with my ramblings, it might be a good idea to check it out first. 

As I mentioned before, I've struggled with depression since I was 11 years old. It's been an on/off thing ever since. Some days can feel like the end of the world then I could go a week feeling almost optimistic. It's an exhausting way to live, never knowing if the next day you wake up, if you're happy to wake up at all. When I got to uni I lost any and all small ability I had to control it. I would spend days on end in bed, make up excuses to not go out and basically panic about everything. Like, literally, everything. I've always been a worrier but when I hit 18 I just went, for lack of a better word, a bit mental. Everything turned into a worst possible scenario in my head and I lost all desire to do anything. To my mind, people only tolerated me, I didn't really have friends, I was going to fail my degree before I started annnnnddddd I was never going to succeed in life. So, in my head, I was a verifiable mess, incapable of doing the simplest task without panicking and thinking 'OH SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIIITTTTTTT'. Outwardly, I like to think I was cool, calm and collected. And herein lies the problem. My absolute and utter determination to keep my game-face on, to pretend that I was like everyone else, left me suffering alone and scared and terrified to talk to anyone. And this is the great deception of depression, it doesn't just make you think the worst about yourself, it isolates you from everybody. You become convinced that nobody will understand, that you'll be rejected and then you'll really be left alone. 

I wanted to write this post for a couple of reasons. Recently I had been trying to finish off some assignments for university. All I had to do was write some essays, submit them and then BOOM, degree in hand. It all sounded so simple! Except nothing's simple when you; 1) hate your degree, 2) second guess/triple guess/quadruple guess everything you write/do/say and 3) when you have to partake in regular human society and work for a living. And when it came to concentrating and putting some words down, I just fell apart. My mind just turned to shit and was a squidgy mess (I apologise for that mental imagine) and I felt like everything was pointless. Yet at any point did I tell anyone? Say; "look lads, I can't do it, I'm falling apart"? OF COURSE NOT, DON'T BE SILLY! I pretended everything was super duper and then, 2 days before the essays were due in, I had the most almighty panic attack of my life (and I have had some gems). I literally thought I was going to die, and truth be told, in my moment of sheer desperation, I thought that mightn't be so bad. Which looks so awful written down, but it is what it is. I don't necessarily spend my days contemplating suicide, rather I just think about blinking out of existence. Just having everything...stop. 
My poor boyfriend, who is the kindest, sweetest and most supportive man I have ever known (along with my Dad), had to try and pull together a person he didn't even know was falling apart because I hid everything. The problem with thinking the worst about everything is that you anticipate the worst from everyone. Despite my family being nothing but the greatest bunch of people I could be genetically connected to, my mind tells me they'll be disappointed and ashamed of me if I don't do something. Deep down I know that's absolutely not true, and that, frankly, it's a little offensive to think so little of them. Yet when the dark thoughts come, that logic doesn't feature in. Depression has made me alarmingly self-centred, I am convinced that all events lead to me and something terrible I have done. 

The irony that I love writing, and want to do it for a career, yet physically cannot complete my English degree is not lost on me. It's some sort of cruel cosmic joke, is what it is!

The second reason was the suicide of Robin Williams. I don't think I've ever been hit so hard by the death of someone I didn't know. The thought that someone who brought so much laughter and joy to other people's lives, could be suffering so intensely in private was far, far too close to home for me. Not that I'm comparing myself to Robin Williams (although, I too could grow an impressive beard. If I tried.) but I understood the desire to hide away from the world and pretend like everything is okay. And this is, I guess, the crux of my ramblings. Why do I want to hide? Why should I hide? 

In modern society, there has to be an excuse for everything, but often with depression there is no reason, it just is. I have no reason to feel the way I do, nothing outstandingly horrific has happened to me, I have great friends, an awesome family and a fricking fantastic boyfriend (who would be even better if he picked up his socks) so what's my problem? And there isn't one, I have no explanation other than my brain, on occasion, hates me. Sure there are triggers and things happen that warrant my sadness, but a lot of the time it's just a lot of sitting around in a black cloud thinking "is this really my life?". The treatment of depression and suicide following the loss of Robin Williams did not help my own understanding of my condition. Generally what I got from newspapers/websites is that I should stop whining, grow the fuck up and stop being a selfish mare. The sensationalisation of his death absolutely disgusted me. If he had died from a battle with cancer he would've been mourned on the front page, yet because Depression is seen as some sort of made up illness he is called 'selfish' and accused of wasting his life and the horrific details are splashed all over. And this angered me to no extent. People with Depression don't choose to feel shitty, they aren't killing themselves for attention or to be selfish, there literally feels like there is no other choice. This is what needs to be highlighted, how can a person, in a society as oversharing as the one we live in, get to the point of not being able to talk about not wanting to exist anymore? Instead of making excuses for why someone feels depressed, as we see with the treatment of Robin Williams (he was broke, he was struggling with sobriety etc etc) perhaps just accept what it is and find a way to make someone feel loved, accepted and needed? Educate people on how to cope, how to recognise the signs, and most importantly, stop people feeling ashamed of having a mental illness. When news broke of Williams suicide my Facebook newsfeed was full of people encouraging others with depression to speak up and seek help, and like an absolute hypocrite, so was mine. But it's not as easy as that. Getting help, opening up to someone and just saying it is the most difficult thing, because for some reason, it's seen as some kind of weakness. And this is where change needs to come in. If I had known about my condition when I was 11, maybe I would have a better grasp on how to control it, how to live with it. Maybe I wouldn't feel ashamed of something that is totally beyond my understanding. And I wouldn't feel absolutely terrified about posting this. 

So, if you're reading this and you've been struggling, if you have had any dark thoughts about yourself, please know you are not alone. Even if you can't talk to someone you know (which, I know, is really bloody hard) you can always drop me a line one here. I won't pretend I have all the answers, or in fact, any at all, but I can at least support you. Or, we can support each other. Please remember, even when it seems impossible to, you are loved and you are important. I know it's something I need to try and remember. If you know someone with depression, just know that you being there and supporting them is so much more appreciated than you can ever know. 

Alright, that's a lot of heavy shit, and truth be told, I could go on. But here, have a picture of Tom Hiddleston to make it a little better. 

I hope you're all well, and if not, you can hit me up on any of my social media or on my email, which you can find in my 'Contact' section. Be happy, be healthy, be safe. If you need anymore information or advice you can check out the Mind website hereChat to you next time :).


19 July 2014

Film of the Day #15: How To Train Your Dragon 2


Currently I am watching Snowpiercer. Holy spaceballs, it is BRILLIANT, also brutal. Expect a review/discussion soon! 
Today's FOTD, is not technically from today. Today, I am stuck in a binge watch of EPIC proportions with Veronica Mars. I'm not sure if it's a fictional character I want to be my best friend, or Kristen Bell, but either way, I want one! Also, Logan Echolls yo, Logan. Echolls.

Alright! Today's film is How to Train Your Dragon 2, which is just fricking ace. 

Film of the Day! I WANT A DRAGON.

The film comes 5 years after the events of the first film. Hiccup and his dragon Toothless have ensured that their village live in peace with dragons and everything looks AWESOME. Hiccup's dad, Stoick, wants him to take over as Chief of the village, but Hiccup would rather fly around with Toothless and discover new land. On one of these adventures with Astrid, they discover a mysterious ice formation that has marooned a boat full of dragon trappers. Only a figure from Hiccup's past can help him defeat the danger of a ruthless dragon army.

This is SO GOOD. There aren't enough Caps Lock to fully emphasise just HOW GOOD this is. The film is insanely beautiful, the swooping flying shots, the scenery are all so incredibly detailed. I saw it in 2D but it is such an immersive environment it feels like you could touch it. I imagine the 3D is even more impressive, given that it was shot with 3D in mind, unlike many of the post-filming conversions that are done to try and make money. I could genuinely watch Hiccup and Toothless soaring through the sky for hours. 
Beyond the actual beauty of the film, this has so much more to offer. A lot of animated films seem to sacrifice the idea of 'character development' to try fit in a few more jokes, or they've spent so long making it beautiful the characters offer very little. Not the case here. The characters here feel as real and tangible as in a non-animated feature. Actually, a lot more. Hiccup is such a great character for a kids film particularly, he is flawed but wants to try so hard to be better and that's kind of great to watch. The relationship with his father is particularly touching and affecting. 
The storyline is pretty fabulous and involving, and the themes of acceptance and the notion of unending love are beautifully played and incredibly touching. For a cartoon this is an emotional, action-packed watch. Not even the slightest bit ashamed to say I cried at this film. A lot. 

If you haven't seen the first film, I really couldn't recommend it more if I tried. I genuinely believe that anyone who doesn't like these films, probably doesn't have a soul. Harsh, but fair. Also, if anyone could get me a dragon I would love them forever.

Okay! I'll leave it there for tonight, if you've seen the film or have any questions or suggestions, hit me up below or on my social media! And if you have Bloglovin' hit me up there and I'll find you (which sounds super creepy, sorry). I hope you're all well and I'll chat to you sooooooon :) 


14 July 2014

Film of the Day #14: A Streetcar Named Desire


I am a weirdly obsessive person by nature (please don't run away from me) so when I start being interested in something I am REALLY SUPER DUPER INTERESTED!! It's creepy buuuut I will never stop. Creep 4eva. On this topic, (promise I didn't confess to being a creeper for no reason) when I was about 15, I discovered classic Hollywood. I discovered the glitz, the glamour, the class. More importantly, I discovered Marlon Brando, James Dean, Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, Vivien Leigh, the list could go on. I mentioned before in my post about Johnny Depp here that the mystery and magic of classic Hollywood is something that has always fascinated me. The notion of celebrities being mythical and untouchable is something that seemed so far removed from the celebrity-soaked culture of modern society. And I loved that, I loved wanting to know more but never quite getting to glimpse beneath the veil. That is, until the tell-all biographies were released after their deaths. 

Today's film, A Streetcar Named Desire, is one my my favourites and is one that sparked a total obsession with Marlon Brando. Even I'm a little embarrassed by how much I went all out in trying to watch all his films, find out everything about him. I was just the coolest 15 year old ever. 

Film of the Day! Marlon, so beautiful.

The film, based on the very famous Tennesse Williams play, follows the fading Southern Belle, Blanche DuBois. Blanche comes to stay with her sister Stella and husband Stanley, following the loss of the family plantation. She quickly riles up Stanley with her superior attitude and her news of the loss of the family fortune. Blanche clings to her beauty and possessions, as though it's all she has, and hopes to win a suitor to look after her. She carries an air of mystery and desperation. Everything is a dramatic tale; she is an innocent victim and the truth is something to be moulded to suit her. This attitude and half-truths soon wears thin with Stanley who seeks to discover the reality behind the story, and soon her tales come crumbling around her ears. 

The film very much owes itself to the stageplay roots. The setting of the film looks very much like an elaborate theatre set and it lends to an intimate feel. It gives the veneer of a person who is inwardly crumbling, whilst outwardly desperately clinging on to her public appearance. Blanche looks so out-of-place and lonely, always caught in a half-light because she can't bear the full light on her fading beauty or on the truth. 
The performances in this are something magical. Marlon Brando is utterly magnetic, exuding a raw sensuality and sense of danger that is impossible to repress. The contrast of his brutishness to Vivien Leigh's waif-like beauty is part of what makes the film so engrossing. She is beautiful, delicate, frustrating and utterly tragic. Blanche is a very difficult character, yet in Leigh's hands, I still cared. 

Look at him. Look.
This is a damn good film, and it's cultural importance is something that has been preserved by the Library of Congress in the U.S. National Film Registry. That's how you know shit is good. 

Alright! I'll leave it there for tonight, hope you enjoyed. I'm also hoping I find someone else who is as obsessed with old Hollywood as me. Also, Marlon Brando. So attractive. If you've any thoughts or suggestions, hit me up below or on my social media :). Also, if you're on Bloglovin or Twitter, I'd love if you'd give me a follow so I can follow back! I love new blogs :). Hope you're all well!


11 July 2014

Film of the Day #13: Transcendence


So, continuing with my Johnny Depp theme that I seem to have going on, I watched Transcendence last night. Someone on Facebook reminded me of it and I immediately had to watch. I had wanted to see it in the cinema because Johnny, but have to say, kind of delighted I didn't spend the money. It is disappointing to the max. I have my sad face on.

So disappointing.
The film follows Will and Evelyn Caster (Johnny Depp and Rebecca Hall), two mega-geniuses who want to save the world and shit. They are madly in love (apparently) and just want to help move the world forward. This forward thinking only leads to bad things though, and Will is shot by extremists called 'Revolutionary Independence from Technology' (catchy, I know) or R.I.F.T short. He's given a month to live and Evelyn becomes desperate to save him, or his consciousness in some way. With their friend Max (Paul Bettany) they work to create a code to upload Will to a computer, because why not? They succeed but Max is no longer sure that this memory is Will, or if it is something more sinister. Evelyn is convinced it is, but as Will needs more and more power and becomes more ambitious, is she wrong?

The premise of this film so obviously wanted to be something that stirred conversation, it wanted us to question our relationship with technology but it is so broad in it's ideas it ends up muddling the message. The ending in particular, does not match to the first 1/3 of the film, which is extremely annoying. I'm still not entirely sure if I was meant to think technology is bad, or if extremists are just REALLY MEAN. I mean, I'm fairly sure the latter is true, but still not sure about the former. Speaking of the extremists, I know Kate Mara (the leader of R.I.F.T) is a perfectly talented actress, but I had literally no idea why she was so against technology. I guess all those pesky teenagers with better phones than her made her forget all the good shit technology has done for us. I'm pretty sure I was meant to empathise with her to some extent, but she just really annoyed my shit. Also, baffled that technology= BAD, murder= ACCEPTABLE. Logic was not a strong point of this film. 
Another issue I had (apart from everything) was Johnny Depp. I'm not entirely sure how one of the most charismatic and dynamic actors of recent times turned in one of the most boring performances I've ever seen. He's not necessarily bad, he just looks a lot of the time like he would rather be elsewhere! I know the script didn't give a lot to work with, but seriously. Whilst I understood the choice to be robotic when he was in the computer, it doesn't explain the acting at the start. Also, for a couple supposedly MADLY in love, I did not buy that at all. 

There are a few good things about the film! Directed by Wally Pfister, the man responsible for the dark beauty of Christopher Nolan's films, this is a gorgeous film. Some of the shots are just...wow. 
Paul Bettany and Rebecca Hall, as the best friend and wife are very good also. Whilst half their decisions totally baffled me, at least they convinced me that their character thought it was a good idea.
The last section of the film (excluding the baffling ending) is actually quite good. It finally creates a bit of interest or gives an idea of the threat of Will's technology that they had been talking about for the entire bloody film. For trying to convince me that Will was up to badness, I'm not sure they went the right way to convince me he was evil. After all, his 'evil plan' consisted of healing people. Sure, he did some weird shit, but largely when he was threatened. All they really convinced me of was that humans are the problem when it comes to technology, but perhaps that was the message they were trying to send? Either way, it left me confused and with a bit of a headache. 
Honestly, the worst thing about the movie is that it's kinda boring. If you're going to spend $100 million on a movie, you sure as shit want to make it exciting, and unfortunately, the excitement is entirely condensed in the last 20 minutes. I don't need explosions or guns, but I do need to care.
Johnny, I still love you.

I'll leave it there for tonight guys! If you've any questions or comments, hit me up below or find me on my social media. Also, I wrote a Friday Film Recommendation for my friend over at Secrets of a Twenty Something, which you can find here. So, once you're finished here, make sure to pop on over there. This film might have been disappointing, but the film I reviewed for there is anything but! I hope you're all well, and I'll chat to you soon!


07 July 2014

My Addiction and the Problem with 'Movie Stars'


You know that moment when you see someone and just know that they are something special? Your eyes meet across the room, and bam. That's it, you're done. They're all you can think about, dream about, you talk about them endlessly (much to the concern of family and friends). It's such a great, overwhelming feeling. Aaannnnnd that is exactly how I felt about Johnny Depp. I mean, also my boyfriend, but largely Johnny. He was my first true (and unfortunately, unreciprocated) love. 

The beginning of a lifelong love.

The first time I encountered Johnny I was the tender age of 11 years old. My adoration for films had been growing but it was Johnny who took it to new heights. I was watching Sleepy Hollow, which is a pretty fun film in general. The visuals are some of Tim Burton at his finest, before Tim Burton got a little obsessed with being TIM BURTON. The pale as a ghost, twitchy and socially awkward Ichabod Crane caught my eye and I was hooked. Have you ever noticed that Johnny Depp has like, the most perfect face ever? He has. But it wasn't his beautiful face that drew me in, I mean it helped, but it wasn't the main thing. I find there's this thing with certain movie stars, they exude this palpable charisma and they draw you in so easily. He reminded me so much of the old Hollywood stars like Marlon Brando and James Dean, when film stars were mysterious, mythical creatures. Like unicorns. They weren't tainted by the obsessive need we now have to know absolutely everything about them, and gloriously they didn't have access to Twitter or Facebook to ruin the mystery. Nothing worse than following your favourite on Twitter and then realising how unbearable they are. Heartbreaking. 
The celebrity culture of the modern age, whilst was certainly a factor in the success of the movie business, wasn't as overwhelming then as it is today. The constant paparazzi pictures of the mythical celebrity out in their normal habitat, being informed every time someone goes to the shop, means that we as an audience are more aware than ever of who the actor is. I'm more than guilty of it myself, I love knowing what my favourite actors are doing, what film they're in the process of filming, but I'm preeeeetttyyy sure I don't need to know that they are popping out to buy more milk. And I do feel it's starting to ruin a little bit of the movie magic. It's getting increasingly hard to think of Brad Pitt as an 'actor' rather than 'A-List celebrity', just because I feel like I was personally involved in his break-up with Jennifer Aniston and his relationship with Angelina (I wish). 

Johnny was my original love, my one and only. That 'one and only' thing has now spread to James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth, Jessica Chastain, Jennifer Lawrence and an alarming amount of other actors. I obviously have difficulty with the notion of 'one'. The problem I'm having now though, is that Johnny has become more and more of a presence in the media. He's taking on bigger blockbusters (he's just signed on for ANOTHER Pirates of the Caribbean) and has had a very public split with Vanessa Paradis and now an engagement to Amber Heard. And herein lies my problem. The Johnny I knew (sorta) and loved actively avoided public events and courting relationships in the public eye, he enjoyed taking the obscure films with the weird characters that nobody else would risk. Now, he's become a bit of a parody of himself. Yeah, he still dresses up like a mad bastard for a film, but I'm so distracted by Johnny the 'A-List celebrity', it's getting damn hard to see Johnny the 'actor'. Also, his film choice has been less than stellar for the past few years. Like, really terrible. Still, so disappointed by The Tourist


So, Johnny, if you're reading this (and you totally are) I've a few things to say; 
1) I love you,
2) Nobody needs that many scarves, 
3) Make better films,
4) Put a bit of soul into your performance, man!,
5) I really hope you're not having a mid-life crisis,
6) Seriously, better films,
8) I still love you, for better and worse. 

Alright! I'll leave it for tonight and I'll chat to you all soon! Let me know, who's your ULTIMATE MOVIE CRUSH!? Drop me a comment down below, or hit me up on my social media! Hope you're all well.

05 July 2014

Film of the Day #12: The Crow


Y'know when you have that moment when you realise you maaayyyy have taken on a little bit too much? I have that feeling. I have some essays to do and a film a day might (definitely) won't be possible. Sorry! I'm annoyed at myself, if that helps. I was doing so well! So, I'll carry on posting more regularly than I was, which admittedly, was not very often, but it won't be daily. Hopefully weekly or twice weekly! I still love you all dearly OBVIOUSLY and I hope to be back daily blogging asap :). I have big plans for this blog and it's going to be getting a makeover soon which I am VERY excited about. It's going to be beauuuuuutiful :).

Anywho, now I have my emotional confession out of the way, onto the film! Today I watched the cult classic The Crow, and I had forgotten just how good this film is!

Film of the Day!
The film follows the tragic story of Eric Draven (Brandon Lee, son of Bruce), a lovely chap who was brutally murdered after a gang broke into his home and tortured and raped his finance, Shelley. It really kicks off on a light note, as you can see. On the anniversary of their deaths, a mysterious crow raises him from the dead to seek his revenge. And he goes alllll out on the revenge front. Helped by Sergeant Albrecht (Ernie Hudson) and Sarah, a young girl who he and Shelley cared for, he seeks to find the vengeance that will grant him peace. It is bloody as frig. 

The film was a massive success on release- both critically and commercially- but was tainted, and still is, by the tragedy of Lee's death on set. Whilst filming a scene where his character gets shot, he was shot by accident. Time constraints meant that the gun wasn't properly cared for and loaded with the proper material for the scene, the gun was improperly deactivated and so when fired, critically injured Lee. Brandon Lee's death leaves the film with an air of unshakeable melancholy, as we watch a man seeking to make the most of his last moments on Earth. He is brilliant in this film and stands as a fantastic testament to a talent lost far too soon. He is darkly funny, threatening, and brilliantly physical. The storyline is engrossing; dark and twisted. There's nothing more odd than watching someone on a murderous rampage and wishing them on. And stylistically speaking, the film is strangely beautiful in terms of how it is shot. It creates a dark and terrifying society, where a person isn't even safe in their own home. It's easy to see why they are so desperate to create a remake of the film, but it's hard to see how they could ever top it. At the minute, Luke Evans is attached to star and he's a very good actor and impossibly handsome, but it seems a bit pointless to try a re-do a film that's already pretty great as it stands. Also, the soundtrack is BEYOND ace, it actually makes the film that much better. Often soundtracks are run-along that don't really add anything, but here it really completes the film.

Alright! I'll leave it there tonight, if you've seen the film or have any thoughts, hit me up on my social media or down below! I hope you're all well and I'll chat to you soon :). 

04 July 2014

Film of the Day #11: Independence Day


I am currently stuck in a binge-watch of EPIC proportions with True Blood. It is painfully addictive, even though I'm pretty sure it's the most insane thing I've ever seen and I don't actually care about 1/2 of the characters. But still, Eric. Oh Eric.

Onto the film! In celebration of the 4th of July (Happy Celebration, y'all! I'm sorry for saying y'all. But still!) what better film to whip out than the bombastic, fantastically cheesy Independence Day

Film of the Day! 'Merica!

The film follows an alien attack on Earth, and in New York a techno genius called David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) who discovers a secret satellite transmission that contains what he believes is a countdown. Because, obviously. With the help of his estranged wife, he manages to warn the President (Bill Pullman) on the impending danger and an evacuation is enacted, but not before the aliens attack the cities and kill a shit-ton of people. They organise a special Marine squad to try attack the main ship, but they are all attacked and Steve Hiller (Will Smith) is the only survivor. He manages to lure away a single ship and they crash land in the desert. He's then rescued by Russell Casse (Randy Quaid), a man who has been mocked for believing aliens are real. And yes, he is feeling very smug right now. Together, they must figure out a way to save the fate of the entire world. Because even though everyone is in danger, only 'Murica can do a damn thing to stop it. INDEPENDENCE Y'ALL! (I know I said wouldn't say it again, I'm sorry).

This is the cheesiest, most OTT action film I think I've seen. It's awesome. This is such a guilty pleasure. I don't know any of the characters names (I had to google them for this) and I don't know why they know or do half the things they do, all I know is, the end result has a lot of shooting and a cracking inspirational speech. Half of the stuff doesn't even try to make sense. I mean,(SPOILER!) I'm pretty sure they destroy the aliens with a Macbook and a computer virus... And the characters are painted with broad-strokes, I'm pretty sure they decided that if they were going to blow up the White House, then the characters didn't need to actually make any sense or progress in any way. This isn't a film of deep meaning or looking to impart any deep wisdom other than AMERICA RULES! And that's okay! 

Alright! I'm gonna leave it there for tonight, I hope you enjoyed! And to my American readers, Happy Independence Day! If you liked the post and have any thoughts, you can hit me up below or on my social media. I hope you're all well :).
ALSO! I just wrote my first blog post for Secrets of a Twenty Something, if you want you can read it here. 


03 July 2014

Film of the Day #10: Enchanted


I was meant to have a super productive day today. I could not say 1 thing that I fully finished today. Mare. Except this! I'll finish this! Yasss. Today's film is the super-cute Enchanted because we all need a bit more Disney in our lives. 

Film of the Day!
The film is about the impossibly adorable Gisele (Amy Adams) who meets her one true love, the gorgeous Prince Edward (James Marsden). Everything seems to be going splendidly well, and after about 5 minutes together, they decide to get married. Yay! Except his step-mother, Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon) can't bear the thought of losing her throne so schemes and plans to get rid of Gisele, with the help of her minion Nathaniel (Timothy Spall). She ends up in a cruel and terrible place called 'New York', where everyone is very mean. Gisele meets Robert (Patrick Dempsey) and his daughter, who take her in and give her a place to stay. Slowly, she thaws Robert's heart and cynicism to love, and he wins her over by being super hot. All the while Prince Edward searches for her and Narissa seeks to get rid of her, once and for all. Also, there's some big song and dance numbers, which is always a good thing.

I know, I've followed up one super sweet film with another one. Obviously I'm trying to cause a diabetic coma, apologies for that. But it is such an adorable film, and on the news that they are working on a sequel (YAY) I thought that it was only fitting to watch it. Again, this is an acquired taste, although I can't imagine anyone not loving this film, but that's just because I like it so much. I am an eternal Disney girl at heart. This is a film that aims to entertain. It doesn't care about cliches or any of that carry on, it just wants to put a smile on your face. And it does! Amy Adams as Gisele is just so perfect, she's sweet without being overwhelming and is so immediately loveable. The entire cast does such a great job of selling what is, essentially, a live-action Disney. Whilst the songs aren't of the classic Disney calibre that you'll sing along to for the rest of your life, they are still very well done and the production is impressive. Adams and Dempsey have fantastic chemistry, and do a great job of convincing that a Disney fairytale romance in 'reality' isn't inconceivable. That, and Dempsey is just a total dreamboat. I have a long-running obsession with Grey's Anatomy based largely on his face... 

Alright, I'll leave it there for tonight, I have many things to finish doing before I inevitably fall asleep on my laptop. I hope you enjoyed and found a new film to watch. If you've seen it and have any thoughts drop me a comment below, or hit me up on my social media. Hope you're all well!


P.S. Look at his face. Look!

You're welcome.

02 July 2014

Film of the Day #9: About Time


I'm watching one of the films I had recorded on my Sky box. It is proving to be a harsh lesson that perhaps I shouldn't record all the horror films, just because they are horror. It is a brutally bad, horrifically ugly film. I'm not expecting a happy film if I watch a horror, but a film that doesn't make me want to claw out my eyeballs would be nice. There aren't many films that I turn off, but I am seriously considering it. And I haven't even been paying attention for the past 30 minutes. If you're interested to see why I hate it so much, the film is called The Divide. What I'm most upset about is that it has totally ruined my crush in Milo Ventimiglia for life. Gutted. 

Onto a film I did not hate! I film that I, in fact, loved an awful lot! Today's film is the ADORABLE About Time, starring Domhnall Gleeson, Bill Nighy and my fave, Rachel McAdams. 

Film of the Day! Yay for Rachel McAdams!
The film follows the lovely Tim (Gleeson) as he tries to navigate life. Particularly his love life, because this is a Richard Curtis film and what kind of sham would it be if there wasn't love. Anywho, on his 21st birthday, Tim finds out from his father (Nighy) that all the males in their family can time travel backwards in their timeline. So, of course, Tim decides to use this gift to sort out his love life. He moves to London and meets the beautiful Mary (McAdams) and manages to win her over, largely thanks to his wonderful time-travelling ability to fix the stupid shit he says/does. With his gift, and the guidance of his father, Tim learns not to be discouraged by a bad day, but to appreciate all the little things that might pass him by. Basically, it's fecking adorable.

First things first. if you are not a fan of Richard Curtis films (Notting Hill, Love Actually etc) then you'll want to skip this one. Same goes for if you can't stand films that aim to be life-affirming and land in sickly sweet. Make no mistake, this is so sweet it could induce diabetes, but it is so well made that it's almost easy to overlook. It is beautifully shot, the characters are all kind and lovely and fabulously English, and there are some brilliantly funny and heartwarming moments to appreciate. Whilst the time-travelling element isn't especially well thought out, it is used well to advance the story. It's not a story about time-travel, it's a story that uses time-travel to make a point, if you get me. It's used to make a point, that too often we let a day fly by and focus on all the bad shit, instead of the little moments that make it better. We wait so long for the big, in-your-face moments of greatness, that we fail to see the little bits that all add up to something incredible. And, yeah, it's all very OTT in the film, and it's so sweet you can taste it, but who could begrudge a film with such a lovely message!? Have to say though, whilst that's all very lovely, my favourite part of the film are the relationships, particularly Tim and his Dad. It is just the loveliest relationship and the moments of real poignance are when they are together, just playing table tennis and talking. Gleeson and Nighy have such great chemistry together, you really feel the bond between them and it makes the events in the film all the more meaningful. 

Alright! I'll leave it there for tonight, I hope you enjoyed and I hope you give the film a watch :). If you've seen it, let me know what you think down below or hit me up on any of my social media. Hope you're all well! I'll talk to (at) you tomorrow :).


P.S. I think I'll start leaving the trailer in as well, I always like to use those to judge whether or not I want to watch it. Although, to be fair, I will pretty much watch anything... 

Motherhood, films, beauty, and life



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