11 August 2013

Why I hate Twilight.

Hola!

Okay, so hear me out first. I know the title is enough to make a 12 year old beat me to death with her 'Breaking Dawn' book, but I can explain!

So, I should say, I really do HATE Twilight. I'll make no bones about that. I read the books when they first came out, largely because I am a marketers dream ('Ohhh, vampires and pretty people! Yay!') and have been full of regret since. Every-so-often I like to hate-read them again, much like I like to hate-watch the films on occasion. Nobody will watch those films with me because all I do is complain. A lot. The problem is that the films never really stood a chance, how can you take a bad book and make it into a good film? 

                           
                                                                               I hate you all.

The problem is the characters. Particularly one character. I mean Bella.


OH MY DAYS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Played by Kristen Stewart, who I actually really quite liked in Adventureland (underrated), she apparently decides that Bella has no facial expressions at all. Not that Bella is well-developed enough to have expression. Essentially, this is a girl whose entire existence revolves around getting a boy to like her and then when he leaves, deciding if she likes a different boy. Who could be arsed? For some reason, she is utterly irresistible to the male gender. Whilst Kristen Stewart is very pretty, the character is dull as shit making this love all the more inexplicable. Bella though, only has eyes for the unattainable Edward Cullen, who comes from the same school of character development as Bella. As in, there is none. Apparently the screenwriters believe that if you're indecently good looking, you don't NEED to have a personality. So of course this runs true for all of the exceptionally good looking cast. 

My main problem with Bella is that she knocks the idea of strong women in films back to the 1930's. This girl exists only to please Edward Cullen. I mean, the dude leaves and she mopes in her room for like 4 months? And she doesn't mope like any other person would after a break up, oh no. This break up is THE WORST BREAK UP IN THE HISTORY OF BREAK UPS. Yours doesn't even compare, because Bella and Edward, are like, meant to be and, are like, part of each other. It's enough to make you want to claw your eyes out. And there have been plenty of women in films whose main drive is to snag a man and get married, but this film and these books were a global phenomenon. I mean, if you were a teenage girl, those books were required reading and the films were essential. So the problem lies in that this girl, who gets in danger constantly and ALWAYS has to be saved, becomes a sort of icon. All the girls want to be like this girl who ceases to exist as a person once she gets a boyfriend, she becomes simply an extension of Edward. She sacrifices her life to be with him, for frig's sake! If you can show me a moment where she does something just for herself, not to please a male character in the film, I'd be quite happy. 


Teenage girls (and apparently their mothers) all fall for this ridiculous idea, that a relationship like this could, or should exist in real life. If you met a couple like this in real life, you'd avoid them like the plague. They are the smug couple who believe that their relationship is worth SO much more than yours, that you couldn't even compare. Ergh.


Films need strong characters as the heroine/heroes. You need someone you want to root for. Twilight offers us a girl who follows a boy around and after that, follows another boy around. Super. In an industry where women are increasingly relegated to the position of 'damsel in distress' or 'love interest', to have a central character willingly made into something so weak is hard to take. Take the likes of Katniss or Hermione, both characters in exceptionally successful franchises, both women entirely capable of looking after themselves. These are the types of characters that teenage girls need to look up to, they are girls you can aspire to be like. 


The other reason I hate the Twilight films is because the general story is just shit. They are essentially a lot of events leading to an anti-climax. 


'Oh, trouble ensues!' 'Oh no, we're going to have a battle!' 'Montage of us preparing for battle!' 'Oh, wait, nevermind. We'll just talk a lot and avoid action of any type.' 'Battle? Na, we'll just head home.'


I paid money for this! DO SOMETHING! I need something other than longing looks and pained signs and 'passionate' kisses to make a film, lads. Have a girl who can do something other than run between 2 different, disgustingly attractive boys! And all these films have really achieved, is make girls think that relationships like this are normal and healthy (bit of perspective, he WATCHED HER SLEEP) and that that all girls need a boy like that. Just letting you know; YOU DON'T. 

                                  
Shudder.


I get that this film is super popular, I just don't know why. Like, I genuinely don't understand why people like it so much? If anyone could explain it to me, that'd be great. Yes, the cast are all super attractive, but what else is there?

Okay, I promise I'll be less rant-y tomorrow :).


Peace out!

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