09 March 2015

#DearMe: A Letter to 11 year old Me

Hi!

So there's this hashtag business floating around on the interwebs in honour of International Women's Day, which was yesterday (never let it be said I do things on time). Basically, the idea is to give your younger self the advice and wisdom that you have now. Then if there are any younger people reading or watching, hopefully they can take away something helpful!

Now, I was an awkward, pale, embarrassed, scared and sad 11 year old. Which, I am aware, is a very depressing description of a child. I had started High School and I was having a shitty time. Like, really shitty. I was pretty badly bullied when I was 11 so I just sort of, stopped going to school. I'd make myself physically ill just so I wouldn't have to go. And then one day my Dad- who would ask me every single day if I was okay, to which I would lie and say I was fine and then cry all night- said that enough was enough. He marched into school and basically told my teachers that they were a bunch of assholes. It was terrifying and it was amazing. And that was when I knew that if everything got too much, my family would always take care of me. 
I don't have many pictures of me at that age, because I hated the way I looked, and I couldn't stand my face in photos. I still have moments like that, and I still only like photos of me if I'm the one taking them, but I'm working on it!
So this is me, obviously just out of bed, and my adorable puppy Axl (after Axl Rose, obviously. Best dog ever). I have no makeup on and it is only around this age, that I'll start thinking that there is something wrong with my rosy cheeks/face/head. 
 Here goes.

Hi Me! 
First of all, I know, the bob was a bad idea, but we've learned a valuable life lesson here! Curly hair+ Round face= ANY HAIRCUT EXCEPT A BOB. Sure, you look a little moon-face at the minute, but don't worry, it'll grow out in no time. And then you'll know; not all hairdressers are right. If you don't want to do it, don't do it! There's another life lesson for you. Don't be afraid to say no if you don't want to do something! Don't think that just because everyone else is doing something that you have to as well. Only do what you want to do. Also, in the future, there'll be straighteners that'll do miracles for that stupid bit of curly hair at the front. It'll be a game-changer!

I know you're having a hard time in school, and I know it feels like you have no friends but please know it will get better. When you grow up, you'll learn that people will say horrible things all the time, which sucks, but it's how you react to them that'll change everything. If someone says something about your round face, or rosy cheeks, or calls you fat, don't let that form how you think about yourself. Whatever that person thinks of you is their own deal, and whatever they think is irrelevant to how you feel about yourself. This is something we're still struggling with, but we're getting better! 

People will seem really shitty at the minute, but when you get older, you'll meet the best friends in the world, people who share your humour, your love of makeup and your terrible taste in 90's music (N*Sync and Backstreet Boys FO' LIFE). The person bullying you is struggling with their own shit, don't let this make you scared of everyone. Don't be afraid of people and please talk to someone! I know it's scary but it'll make a world of difference. Don't worry so much about what other people think of you. I know this is so much easier said than done, but don't be afraid of being you! You'll spend a lot of time trying to make ourselves smaller and quieter, just to fit in with everyone else. Don't do this! Be unashamed in who you are and what you love! Please don't waste your time not being true to yourself and not doing what you love. Trust me, just going for it now and grabbing life and all it's opportunities by the hand will make everything so much more exciting. It'll be scary, but that's life. If you aren't scared, you're not living!

Alright 11 year old Me, you'll have our first crush around this time. It will be all-consuming and it will end BADLY. This will not be the first time a crush will not go your way, but please don't let it make you scared, because when you're 16, you'll meet the nicest boy. He will be tall and handsome and the biggest goof in the world. He will make you laugh and he will make you happy. And one Christmas, he'll tie a beautiful ring to the top of the Christmas tree and he'll make you happier than you ever thought possible. All those terrible, never-ending crushes will lead to this one, imperfectly perfect boy. 

Keep on with the film loving, that'll keep you going through a lot of stuff coming our way. No matter what, even if you're falling apart, those new and old film favourites will make everything a little bit easier. And it'll help you find a dream! I mean, it's an unrealistic dream, but it's something we're working on, and that's all that matters!

I know you're sad now. And I'll be honest with you, that sadness is something you will struggle with your entire life. But it will get better. Not today, but soon. You'll have your down days and there will be massive leaps backwards, but on the days when you wake up with a smile, those days will be totally worth all the bad days. You will live for those days. And soon, you'll have days, weeks, even months like that. You'll learn to live with it and manage it and soon the fake smile will become a real one. You'll learn to laugh again and it'll be awesome.
Love,
25 year old You. xx

P.S. When you're older you'll discover makeup and it will be the beginning of a lifelong love that will drain your bank account. But you will love it nonetheless! And you'll find a way to deal with the rosy cheeks, pinky promise. 
See? Rosy head= gone. Magic
Alright! I'll leave it there for tonight, let me know if you have any advice you wish you could pass on to your younger selves. Drop me a comment down below or find me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram! I hope you're all well and I will chat to you soon!

Be happy and be kind,
Becca xo

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