Hi!

First of all, I'd apologise for the title, but part of me thinks it might be the best thing I've ever written. So instead, I'm gonna go ahead and give myself a pat on the back for being hilarious.

Second of all, hello. It's been a while since I did the blogging thing, I hope I haven't forgotten how this thing works. I don't have any excuse really, other than I was focusing on getting myself happy and healthy, so I'm happy enough with the time out. I am back now, I can't promise a post every week, but I'll try my best! In terms of life achievements, all you've really missed is me losing 3 stone (GO ME) and I saw Star Wars and The Martian, both of which were most excellent. I mean, I did other things, but those felt like the main things. I'm not sure what that says about my life, but I don't really care, so there's that. 

The new love of my life.

With that all out of the way, let's chat about selfies. I get made fun of on a fairly regular basis for the amount of selfies I take, and that's fair enough, I do take an alarming amount of selfies. There's a lot of chat about people who take selfies, none of it particularly heartwarming. The majority of the opinions I've read about them generally follow the whole 'could you be any more in love with yourself?' (I hope you said that in a Chandler Bing voice) train of thought. It's not good. There seems to be a resounding belief that selfies are a sign of a vain, vapid generation who care only about themselves. Allow me to offer an alternative view because, after all, what's wrong with loving yourself?


I used to hate having my photo taken, even now I get a bit antsy if I'm not the one holding the camera. I'd look at every photo of me that was taken and pick out every single flaw. My face was too fat, my eyes were too small, my nose was too weird, what the hell face am I making? Everything. Everything was wrong with those photos, even if someone said it was a nice photo, they were lying. When I was in the height of my depression, I couldn't even stand looking at pictures of myself. I would actively avoid the three thousand pictures my Mum has hanging up around the house, because to me, they were just a reminder of my failure. All I wanted was to be able to look at a picture of myself and be happy with what I saw. 
After a while I learned how to manage my mental health and take better care of myself, and I taught myself to not automatically doubt everything I did, and that burgeoning sense of confidence and security was just awesome. Suddenly I didn't feel like shit 24/7, there were brief moments when I actually thought 'y'know, I'm not too bad!', and soon those moments happened more frequently. Then I fell in love with makeup and it was like a whole new world (I, 100%, started singing the song from Aladdin there, I hope you did too) opened up to me. It was like magic! This was something that allowed me to control how I saw my face, how others saw my face, I could hide what I wanted and enhance what I liked. I was finally in charge, and after years of feeling like I wasn't, it was a glorious feeling. 

With the makeup, came the selfies. Every time I liked what I'd manage to do with makeup, I'd take a photo of it, and instead of hating everything that I saw, I'd see something that I liked, which felt like a life achievement to me. Being able to compliment yourself when you've gone for so long only able to put yourself down, is just the best feeling in the world. When I hear someone complaining about people taking selfies and hear them say 'they are so in love with themselves!', a large part of me thinks 'good. I hope they are'. Because when did it become a problem to love yourself? I'm not saying that posting selfies is going to cure the great issues of the world, and sure, like everything there is a limit, but if that photo made that person feel good for even just a moment, then what's the problem? 
I don't post pictures of myself to gain anyone's approval, the only person's approval I need is my own. I couldn't care less if someone doesn't like a photo of me, because if I've posted it, it means I like that photo and that's all that matters. Sure, when I post my 389th selfie to Instagram and get a few likes, I'll not deny that it feels nice, it feels like a little internet compliment, even if it is just someone double tapping picture. I challenge you to find anyone who doesn't like a compliment, and if they say they don't, they're lying. And you should probably compliment them because they sound very sad.

I don't post selfies because I think I'm the best looking person in the world, I post them because I do think I have a nice face, I do like what I can do with makeup and I do feel pretty, and I don't think any of that is a problem. Those pictures might be 'vain', 'vapid' and 'ridiculous' (thank you social media for all your opinions, as always) but they made me feel good about myself in a time when I didn't think I could, and my opinion of myself is far more important than anyone else's. 

The next time somebody tries to make fun of you for taking selfies, ask yourself; how do you feel about that photo? If the answer is that you think you look bomb as hell, then post that picture to every piece of social media in existence because the world deserves to see a moment of you being happy in your own skin. It's a bizarre turn of events when we're trying to teach everyone to love themselves, but the second they show a sign of doing it, there's someone right there telling them to reign that shit in. Don't reign it in, love yourself proudly and publicly because you deserve to. 
If you're the person who makes fun of people who take selfies, try it for yourself. Take a photo of yourself that you like and point out five things that you like about it, and if you don't feel marginally good about yourself after, you're probably a robot. 

I'll leave it there because I've already lost this blog post once and I won't risk it again. I hope you all had a magical Christmas and a wonderful New Year! I can't wait for 2016 because I feel like it might be a great year, and maybe I'll actually post some blog posts! We'll not place money on that though. I will chat to you all soon(ish),

Be happy and be kind,
Becca xo

Hi!

It's ben a while, apologies for that! I really thought I would've gotten back into the swing of writing quicker, but I appear to constantly overestimate my coping abilities! Basically, my incredible Dad had a heart attack and it knocked me off my stride, and when I'm knocked off that incredibly tentative hold on my stride, it takes me a while to get back onto it. Apparently, over 2 months. He's doing really well now, so we're back in a happy place, and that's all that matters :). 

I thought that, with final exams ending (yay for anybody doing exams, you're almost free!) that now would be a good time to chat about University/College. Moving onto the next step of education is a big change, one that I wish I'd been more prepared for to be honest. The secondary school I went to was very big on further education, as a school should be, but it didn't really make me aware of what a massive change that education would be. Going from a strict timetable to having control over my own time and freedom was a massive change, not one I dealt with well if I'm being honest. I made the mistake of thinking 'freedom' meant 'FUN ALL THE TIME WOOOO!' and that was a bad move. Bad, bad move. So here are some things I wish I'd known before I got into thousands of pounds of debt. YAY ADULTHOOD.

Don't be pressured into it.
As I mention earlier, my school was very big on pushing Uni onto us, which is understandable, but they never really mentioned any other options. And, to be honest, any other options were sort of sneered at. I went to a relatively posh school (or at least, it thought it was. And so did some of the other schools haha) and in our Careers class we were told to essentially, pick something we wanted to do for the rest of our lives at 16 years old. We were let loose with a shit-ton of prospectus's from different uni's and told to have a read. If you have no desire to go to university, don't feel you have to. Take your time! If you want to go, but not yet, take some time out. I've mentioned before that I struggled with illness when I was in my last year of school, and I wish I had taken the time to get better before jumping straight into such an intense change.

Prepare yourself.
So, if you do decide to go to Uni, you'll probably pick a subject you're pretty good at like I did. Problem is, so did about 400 other people. It can be a massive change, going from being one of the best in a small class, to being just one among hundreds. Don't get overwhelmed, everyone will be feeling the same way. Even if there always is that one smug bell-end at the front of the class asking all the questions you couldn't think of. And it will be hard. I went to Uni thinking it would be a party with friends, WRONG. I mean, yeah, that's definitely part of the fun, but the work that I thought was difficult at A Level stage was quickly transformed into HOLY CRAP WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Which was a hard adjustment. Don't go in thinking it's party-time 24/7. It won't be. It's more like, party 10%, panic over assessments 65%, sleep 25%. Unless you're cooler than me, or y'know, some sort of magical unicorn that can do it all.

Learn how to Time Manage.
OH MY DAYS. This was my absolute biggest downfall. I suck at time management (I hear your shocked gasps. I know, it's my most well-kept secret). University is all about looking after yourself. This won't be like High School where the teacher will run after you looking for your homework. No. That shit is all on you baby. If you miss it, tough shit, that's your own responsibility. And this is a tough life lesson, but it's going to help you when you are released into the big, bad world. Don't be fooled into thinking free time means 'PARTTAAYYYY' it doesn't. It means, do the readings for the next class because they WILL ask you, and they WILL make you answer, and they WILL shame you if you haven't done the work. You're paying massive amounts to go to Uni, you may as well attempt to do the work. Which means make a timetable or something. Learn how to balance the fun with the work, otherwise you will struggle the entire time. A life lesson I had to learn the very hard way.

An accurate representation of my Uni life.

Get Involved.
Don't be scared to put yourself out there, nearly everyone is in the same boat as you! Most Uni's have a club fair, where all the clubs show up and basically try to convince you to join. If you played any sport at school, check and see if they have a club at your uni, or even if you didn't play but wanted to, go check them out. They usually run fresher nights, you can go and see what they're all about. If it doesn't work out, that's fine, at least you know you tried! I played hockey at Uni and I had some of my best times there, and had some of my proudest memories. Even if it's not sport, there are so many clubs out there to join. My personal regret is not joining Drama Club, I wish I had been brave enough! If you're not a club person, get involved with the people in your classes and your halls. Make an effort to get to know them. I was struggling with my own issues and turned down invites from people I wish I'd gotten to know better, but I was too stuck in my head to go out and try something new. Try something new, you might make the friends you'll have for a lifetime.

Get to know your Uni Student Services.
If you are having a hard time adjusting, or struggling with some issues, there is usually a Student Service that is there to help you. Honestly, I wish I'd known about mine sooner, it would've saved me so much panic and stress. Within the services there is usually a Financial Advice, Counselling, Assessment Help and all sorts of other services. You can use them to basically act as an in-between for you and the University. I relied heavily on mine when I was going through my worst patch, and they made everything a little easier for me. I knew that they would help me when I was stuck. My advice would be, don't leave it to the last minute, get to know them as soon as you start struggling, it'll make it easier for you in the long-run. 

Have Fun! (In Moderation).
I know I said earlier that it'll be work 65% and sleep the rest, but when you are having fun, make it count! Don't be afraid to try new things and do something that you never thought you'd do. Uni is a fantastic chance to make memories that'll last a lifetime and take pictures that'll haunt and embarrass you forever. Definitely, do your work, but try and take the time to relax. I wish I had taken more time to have fun and done more in my last years of uni, I spent so long stressing and worrying, I forgot how to have fun without feeling anxious. Uni is when you will meet the best friends you'll have for the rest of your life, and it's the last chance you have to act like a kid before the world will harshly tell you to grow up. Take all the opportunities you can with both hands.

And as a gift, have a few of my HORRIFICALLY embarrassing Uni photos. I wish I could go back in time and tell baby Becca to stop doing that weird thing with her face. Anyway, enjoy! 

I wish someone had told me that posing with your bottle of alcohol does not make you a 'badass', it makes you look like a jackass. Sigh

Why Becca!? WHY?

My 21st and our very stylish final year house.

Obviously not all uni experiences will be the same as mine, I had a particularly bad one because I was dealing with my own issues, but I think these golden rules will apply to everyone. I hope you found, or find them helpful! If you have any tips for surviving uni, drop them down below and share the knowledge. 

I'll leave it there for tonight. I know I have been a bad blogger, but I'll try get back into the swing of things and chat to you soon. In the meantime, you can find me on Twitter or Facebook (links on the sidebar, I'd love to see you there!) OR, you can find me on the love of my life Instagram which you can find HERE. I am always on there. The word 'obsessed' has been used more than once, and not in a flattering way. 

Be happy and be kind,
Becca xo

P.S. The irony of me telling you that University isn't a 24/7 party and then posting those terrible pictures isn't lost on me. Apparently the study sessions in the library didn't inspire the fun photos haha.